Wedding Planning 101: Trial and Error

Have you ever heard the phrase, "a funny thing happened on the way to the store?" It's an old school way to start a lie about how you got distracted and/or lost the money you were supposed to use to buy milk, etc.

Well, a funny thing happened en route to planning my wedding. When I attended a few of those overwhelming bridal showcases earlier this year, I had planned on using my friend (who taught me wedding photography, www.fortinphotography.com) to take my pictures, my friend (who married my sister's best friend) to be my DJ, and my other friend (Kimberly, the most multi-talented female I've ever met) to help with detail coordination. All of them have fallen through -- the last one being solely my fault. So, at six months to wedding date, I had to start all over again. And, of course, I didn't keep/collect any of the vendor information from those showcases because I didn't need them....ooops.

Snap My Picture
Staving off a mental breakdown, I quickly turned to major bridal web sites with a list of "vendors in your area." My penchant for talent lead me to contact the top 10 to 15 photographers in town, minus the ones out of my price range. They were all booked. I Googled wedding photography in D.C. and clicked my way through the ones with images not in line with my style. Finally I landed on HyonSmithphotography.com -- very nice work. I love the combination of documentary style shots with candid moments. But this guy has a real knack for making a bride look like she's a model in a magazine -- now who doesn't want that? We negotiated a deal over coffee and small talk about surfing and photojournalism. Hyon is not only talented, he's super cool to hang with. (Footnote here that he is not personally scheduled to shoot my wedding; his 2nd shooter is, but the style/caliber is the same).



Let Them Eat...
My parents, who live in Orlando, were in town vising my sister and her family. Gary and I joined them one evening for dinner and my dad had picked up these gi-normous cupcakes. "Where did you get these?" I asked my dad, more out of curiosity of how a non-local came across such a splendid local bakery (I could see that the box was not your typical Safeway fare). "Heidelberg Pastry Shoppe," he said. Two weeks later, Gary and I were having drinks with some friends at our favorite happy hour spot (Mio on Vermont). When the subject of a wedding cake came up, they suggested we use Heidelberg. Gary turned to me and said flatly (which means I'm about to be hit with sarcasm), "think we should wait for a third sign, just to be sure?" After our cake tasting, we fell in love with Heidelberg. I think I might "lose" my notes on which flavors we want just so I can go back and do another sampling. So crazy yummy. Chocolate + Grand Marnier + Marzipan = Heaven.

Dance, Dance
The inside scoop from my friend who is a DJ but is already booked on our wedding date is this: don't pay too much and don't pay too little. Somewhere in the range of $600 to $900 is a healthy starting point when seeking a music master. Since I want a ton of 80's music at my reception, I wanted to find someone old enough to remember what was popular then -- not just what has been reborn now. I looked for pictures of the DJs because I'm shallow like that and would like someone who meets appearances. DZ Entertainment gave me a great deal on an experienced DJ and they were polite about follow up phone calls without falling into the stalker category.

Did Basket Mean Call Him or Don't Call Him?
There's a skill to vendors knowing how often to follow up with you versus leaving you out in the cold. (If you didn't catch the movie line reference to Singles, you probably caught its meaning anyway.) If any vendors are reading this, think of it like dating someone new: you don't want to seem desperate, but you don't want to come off like a player either.


My Poor Friend Kimberly, Alas...
Several months ago I had my sights set on holding the reception at an art gallery. First, I looked at the Katzen Arts Center on American University's campus. Gary didn't like it. I loved it. Didn't matter in the end because they won't let you reserve the place for October until May something due to the school getting first preference. I sought Kimberly's wisdom on the matter since this is what she does. Her patience is astounding. I moved forward with the Torpedo Factory -- a blank slate and a good cause, supporting local artists. Awesome. (Little did Rebecca know that her whole family hated the idea and so did her fiance.) My parents paid the $1,500 deposit and I scheduled a meeting with Kimberly on site to brainstorm decorating ideas. Screaming kids, spilled milk, and pouring down rain -- not exactly how I wanted this meeting to go. My mom wanted to help my bedridden pregnant sister and get her two kids out of the house, plus see this reception locale so she could help with the decor. I should have said no to my mom about bringing the kids, but again, Kimberly was ridiculously patient. I, however, was not. I left the meeting with fleeting thoughts of elopement.

Based on what Kimberly and I discussed, Gary and I wrote up some estimates. We were way, way over our budget. I'm not sure how we got to this point, but if I wanted to feed my guests anything other than Powerbars and Capri Sun, we were going to have to reassess. I'm skipping over many details, tearful conversations, and a few shouting matches to bring you swiftly to the conclusion that we canceled with the Torpedo Factory and went with the Hilton in Old Town, Alexandria. (As you can see in the pictures, they have a lovely foyer and ballroom.) I lost our deposit (unless someone else books Oct. 18th, any takers? please?), but even still, we are coming out thousands of dollars ahead of where we were before. More importantly, I was able to salvage my friendship with Kimberly. (Thank you for still speaking to me.)

We still need to book the rehearsal dinner (why can I never spell rehearsal correctly??), but that's Gary gig. I'm leaving it in his capable hands. Sometimes, the only thing that keeps me going is the thought of our 10-day honeymoon in St. Lucia. I downloaded the screen saver from the Ti Kaye Village Resort (www.tikaye.com) where we are staying the first three nights -- 156 days to go!